A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
