Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
