My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize