is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
