yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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