Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize