Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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