He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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