we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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