Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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