and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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