PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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