My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
4 words: hood of his car
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
