hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
