3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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