There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
