Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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