whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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