i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
