I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
