I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
