Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
please come you make the beer taste better
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
