when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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