I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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