I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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