so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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