I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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