well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it's like heaven, but drunker
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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