just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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