I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
