Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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