...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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