my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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