my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
high people should be assigned attendants
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
