Got a toothbrush?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
