We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
