Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My dick has a subreddit
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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