Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Vodka?
Forever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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