How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
