I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Small penises have feelings too.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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