Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
