In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
