the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
