He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
