I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
