Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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