Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
  Replies (49) Good night (1212) Bad night (5574)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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  (978): a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land http://tfl.nu/vapb
  Replies (35) Good night (1525) Bad night (5950)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.

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  (+44): The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them. http://tfl.nu/yb6x
  Replies (20) Good night (770) Bad night (3817)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.

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  (828): you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas. http://tfl.nu/fgpp
  Replies (10) Good night (5517) Bad night (1140)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4349) Bad night (974)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday

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  (320): Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday http://tfl.nu/a582
  Replies (2) Good night (2672) Bad night (804)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2872) Bad night (823)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you

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  (512): By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you http://tfl.nu/3p9a
  Replies (10) Good night (914) Bad night (1532)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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  (610): You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude. http://tfl.nu/8276
  Replies (6) Good night (1771) Bad night (707)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged

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  (814): What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged http://tfl.nu/ocss
  Replies (4) Good night (1637) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.

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  (443): Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier. http://tfl.nu/0m7p
  Replies (2) Good night (978) Bad night (483)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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  (630): And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates. http://tfl.nu/727h
  Replies (4) Good night (892) Bad night (377)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman

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  (716): She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman http://tfl.nu/qx5u
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (237)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay

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  (919): it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay http://tfl.nu/gpt5
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (270)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober

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  (989): you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/1g6r
  Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (236)

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