Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm
  Replies (19) Good night (723) Bad night (2328)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma http://tfl.nu/x4vk
  Replies (16) Good night (1003) Bad night (3820)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk. http://tfl.nu/1top
  Replies (18) Good night (5415) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (6797) Bad night (2376)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive. http://tfl.nu/o6oy
  Replies (7) Good night (4118) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head http://tfl.nu/hdz6
  Replies (23) Good night (8039) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (4142) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning. http://tfl.nu/u4c9
  Replies (5) Good night (2150) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine. http://tfl.nu/djyf
  Replies (24) Good night (3078) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl" http://tfl.nu/soyj
  Replies (17) Good night (1264) Bad night (4275)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex http://tfl.nu/h730
  Replies (10) Good night (2817) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both. http://tfl.nu/t7s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!" http://tfl.nu/ag1e
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table http://tfl.nu/lafx
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast. http://tfl.nu/pv3k
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (177)

Randomize