No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.