I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
