you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????