There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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