Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
