spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
