i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
