Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
