Can i not drive my cunt home
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
