I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Of course I have a pirate flag
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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