He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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