Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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