Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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