And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
