sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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