well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i dont even know how to be here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
